Boys Like Christmas
by Dewey18
Summary: When Kaiden tells Paul her big news, can he handle it? Boys Like Girls, All Time Low, and The Maine.
1. Chapter 1

"Kaiden!" Jack cried as I made my entrance into The Maine's bus. "Merry Christmas!" He said pulling me into a tight embrace. "Look at you! You're so beautiful!"

"Merry Christmas Jackie." I said as I hugged him back. After he let go, and my lungs filled once again, I proceeded to hug the rest of the bands. There was the rest of All Time Low, Boys Like Girls and The Maine.

After a few minutes of mindless chatter I looked around and could not locate Paul. "Um, Jackie, where's Paul?"

His face flushed a bit and he looked down, "Paul had to...get something Kaiden."

"Jack, I know that look; you're lying."

"Well, not really. He told me not to tell you exactly where he was. But he's not doing anything wrong. I promise. See, I can say that with a straight face. Look," he said pointing to his face. "Nothing. See?"

I laughed, "Jack you're rambling." He blushed again. "So what is he getting Jack?" I said with a smirk.

"Kaiden Hope that's not fair, you know he can't lie to _you_." Martin said slamming back another shot as he walked over. "He just went out to get you a last minute Christmas present. I don't know why though; you have the most presents under that pitiful looking tree." We both laughed.

"Martin, you are such a butt. If you're so jealous, you can have some of mine." I said giggling.

"No thanks Princess." I slapped him playfully for the nuisance of a nickname. He laughed and then pulled me in for a hug. "Kaidy, want a drink?" He asked getting up, headed to the table full of random bottles of alcohol.

"Nah, I'll have one later."

"You've said that for almost a month now." He said pouting, "What happened to my party girl?" He asked chuckling.

"Just not in the mood right now Martin." I said as I got up. "Pat!" I called as I noticed him, Alex and Rian talking in the corner.

"Kaidence!" He said pulling me into a tight hug. "You look gorgeous."

"Thanks Pat." I said quietly.

"Kaidy, you really need to take compliments better." Alex said pulling me away from Pat to himself. "You're fucking hot."

"Such a gentleman, Gaskarth." Rian said making me laugh.

"Hey Rian," I said as I shuffled closer to him.

"Hello Kaiden, and Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." I said giving him a tight hug, before returning to a spot to sit and put my feet up.

After a while of resting I got up to see if I could help the only one attempting to get dinner finished. She was a short girl, maybe five foot three at most. She was thin and pale, with huge blue eyes. Her thin brown hair made her one of the prettiest girls I'd seen in a long time. She was grateful and started handing me the ingredients for apple pie and instructing me, giving me a list of all the baked stuff i would be needing to help finish if we _ever_ wanted to get dinner ready. I chuckled a bit, "Relax..."

"Oh, Nina. I'm John O's girlfriend. Nice to meet you. You're..."

"Kaiden. Paul's girlfriend, and Zack's sister." I said smiling.

"Oh, wow. Really? John...?" She called.

"Yeah babe?" He asked a bit confused.

"Uh, you sorta understated this, Kaiden, she's gorgeous." She laughed a bit at my discomfort. I was never good with compliments. "I'm sorry, that was quite rude but wow, Paul is sure lucky. Well anyways, thanks for the help."

"Anytime." I said grabbing some of the stuff from the counter. "Hey Jackie, Martin, will you please help me bring this stuff over? And maybe keep me company...?" I said putting on my most Innocent face as I looked towards them.

"Sure Kaidy." Jackie called.

"Can I bring alcohol?" Martin asked.

"I guess." I said laughing.

"Then I'm in."

We walked over to the BLG's bus and started getting stuff all settled. Jack helped me clear off the counters and for once actually wash the dishes so I could cook.

"Oh. My. God. Why?"

"Sorry, we forgot to clean up." Martin said, I scoffed as I helped clean the counters off .

Finally the mess was straightened out and we were back at making the dessert for tonight's festivities.

An hour later the first two pies were done, and the last was in the oven, almost done. I sent the boys over and said I'd be there in a few. I scrambled to the bathroom and retched over the toilet.

_Fuck. This cannot be good._

"Kaiden?" Nina called walking onto the bus. _Shit_.

"Coming." I said as a viciously brushed my teeth.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything..." She said tentatively as she walked towards the bathroom.

"It's no big deal I just had...a shot too many, weak stomach these days." I said forcing myself to chuckle. "What's up?"

"Well, I was just wondering how the pies were going? Everyone's a bit ancy for the start of dinner."

"All done." I said smiling as i turned off the oven.

"Ok, sounds good, I'll just grab these and you can grab the one after it's cooled down a bit."

"Alright, I shall be over in a few minutes." I said gaining a small laugh from her as she exited.  
I went back to the bathroom to retouch the light make up I wore. I grabbed the few presents I had kept secret.

"Kaidy?" A voice whispered out of the darkness as I was just in front of the other bus.

"Paulie?" I called out to the dark.

"Yeah babe," He said coming into the squares of light coming off the bus, his voice much louder now. "I have something kind of important to tell you..."

"I do too." I mentioned as my mind started racing with possibilities. "But you first."

"Ok, we've been together for..."

"Three years." I finished for him quietly.

"Right," He said, flashing a quick smile "And you've been through everything with me. You're my best friend, and I know I can't bare to be without you in my life. So will you, Kaiden Hope Merrick," He said as he lowered one knee to the ground pulling out a small box and opening it, "marry me?"

"Yes." I said smiling and holding back tears as he slipped the ring on my finger. He stood up and pulled me against him, my head fitting just below his shoulder.

"I love you Kaidy." He said quietly, looking right at me.

"I love you too Paul" I said, the tears now flowing. Behind us we heard clapping, we turned towards the bus to see Johnny [blg], Jackie, Nina and Pat watching from the windows. We both chuckled and waved at them.

"Lets get inside babe." He said kissing the top of my head.


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay," I said as he slid his fingers between mine. I was so caught up in the moment I forgot to mention the quite small, getting larger everyday, problem that I, soon to be we, was facing...

"It kinda feels like we should say something..." Garette said as we all sat down around the makeshift table.

"Like what?" Jared asked laughing, "A prayer?"

"Well not exactly, I mean it doesn't really have to be a prayer I guess, but just...something." He mumbled.

"I get what he's saying," I offered in his defense "Like on Thanksgiving, it doesn't necessarily have to be a _prayer_; just some words, how we're all thankful and everything."

"Kaiden, that _is_ Thanksgiving." Alex said laughing, Jack and Bryan, who were sitting next to him, joined in.

"I know that." I said defensively.

"I think they're trying to say that we should be thankful to be here, for the food, and how far we've come; that this kind of marks another year of success. And, that not everyone does the whole religion thing, so it'd be a bit rude or inconsiderate or maybe even uncomfortable for them to sit through a prayer." Rian stated calmly.

"Hell yes," Johnny said raising his glass and rising to his feet. "To my three best friends, I really couldn't have gotten here without you; mostly because I didn't drive." We all started laughing as we gazed up at him "And to all of you guys who I couldn't get by without." We all clapped as he sat back down.

"Well fuck, if we're doing toasts..."Alex said standing up beer in hand "Well to mah band," He said giggling, "you guys amaze me, I can't believe we're still together. And to all you other fuckers, Merry Christmas." We laughed and drank with him.

"Okay, my turn." Paul said pushing away from the table. "First I'd like to say Merry Christmas to my lovely fiancé," He said looking down at me while holding my hand. "I couldn't have made it here without you, you've pushed me to be what I am, you believed in me when everyone else didn't, you're my best friend and the love of my life and I couldn't ask for anyone better." He received a round of aw's from the friends around us as a small tear betrayed me, rushing down my cheek "Ok, enough sappy shit fuck yeah another year, another tour; I love you all." Everyone laughed and clapped.

The next ten minutes consisted of people making toasts to one another, congratulating on another year, I love you's and congrats to Paulie and me.

We started digging into the meal. still talking and being sappy. I think the alcohol was having some affect on the boys.

"Kaidence!" Jack trilled from the spot on my left.

"Yes Jack-O?" I asked, ignoring the annoying addition he insisted on adding to my name.

"You're really out of it today." He pointed out.

"Why thank you Jack." I said beginning to get annoyed. Then thought better of it.

"You need a drink." He said smiling as he stood anxiously to get us something.

"No thanks Jack." I said sliding my hand down to my stomach protectively.

"Kaiden, you should." Paul jumped in. "I'll drive tonight. Just have fun baby, celebrate." He said happily, pulling my hand from my stomach to admire the new ring.

"I don't want to drink." I said very seriously.

"Alright..." Jack said sitting back down in his chair, confused. They all knew me as the party girl.

The voice level was at an all time high as dinner was now finished. Nina, Spencer, my best friend and Alex's new girlfriend, and myself started dividing up desserts.

"PRESENTS?!" Jack squealed as he and Pat joined the mob around the tree.

I laughed at all of them, acting like children, as I passed around the desserts Nina and Spencer were cutting up.

"How are we going to do this?" Rian asked us girls after the desserts were passed out.

I stood there for a minute trying to think of a constructive way to hand out presents to a zoo of hyper--and drunk--boys. "I suggests we write everyone's name and then pick them out of a hat."

"Sounds good to me. Limited action." Spencer said laughing looking for some paper to get started on.

The four of us wrote as the other boys continued their loud party.

"Alright, shut the fuck up and listen." I called out, earning a few laughs. "I'm going to call out a name that I pull from this hat." I said as I held up the hat."

"Hey! That's _my _hat!" Alex whined getting up.

"And your contribution to this joyous event is appreciated." Spencer said laughing.

"Anyways, after I call the name, that person will get up and give all of the presents they _bought_ and hand them out. Then on the count of three everyone will open." I said getting down off the unsteady chair.

All at once everyone started talking again, making the sound level reach it's highest point of the night. The excitement was getting to everyone.

I pulled the first name, "Zacky" I called, using the name I'd called him since we were little. He got up chuckling and distributed all of the colorful boxes. "Ok, drum roll boys?" I asked as three very impressive drummers returned the favor, along with a few that could use some practice, Kenedy. I laughed. "Alright, one...two...THREE. Open!" Everyone did, colorful paper littering the ground.

The next hour continued like that, another person grabbing all their presents, the suspense, the presents piles steadily growing, the ground becoming more and more festively littered."Kai--Oh! That's me." I said laughing as I got up. I, of course, over bought. I always did, Christmas was my favorite holiday, being with the people I loved and knowing that I had given them something they actually liked and wanted.

I handed out all the presents for the guys, personalized guitar picks and drumsticks and bracelets made out of shoelaces that I had gotten down on one of the Caribbean islands I had visited earlier that year. And for the girls I had gotten them each a necklace with a little bottle of ocean water, the same shoelace bracelets and a new purse.

As everyone opened their presents I received a lot of 'thank you's' and 'these are so cool'.

After the majority of people were done un-wrapping and busy waiting for the next name I walked over to Pat with my gift, a picture of us when we went to Disney, framed.

"Oh Kaiden, it's so nice! I love this picture." I said starring down at it.

"Aw, I'm glad you like it Pat." I said smiling.

"I do, it's great." He said hugging me.

I then headed over to Jack with another present, a picture album of us as we grew up.

"What is it Kaidence?" he asked when I handed the box to him.

"A present Jackary." I said, using the nickname that bothered him almost as much as Kaidence used to bother me. He laughed and opened the large scrapbook I had made for him of all of our pictures from over the years.

"Gah, I love it Kai!" He said happily me into one of the tightest hugs I'd ever received. "It's so pretty." He said as we flipped through it.

"You big sap" I said joked as we reminisced.

I then headed towards Spencer, she had become one of my best friends since her and Alex started dating.

"Spencer Leigh!" I said happily as I sat next to her. "I have something for you darlin'."

"What could it be?" She asked shaking the box slightly.

"Oh, just open it." I said laughing with her, by now everyone had noticed I was playing Santa.

"Oh. My. God." She said in disbelief, after she saw what was in it. I had gotten her, well really re-gotten her, her charm bracelet that had broke one day. She had thought she lost it. She'd had it since she was a little girl, her mom had gotten it for her when she was younger. It had charms on it from all her birthdays and ones from her old friends. I decided, when I found it, to get Alex to help me with it. Together we picked out a new one for the birthday she had missed, one for the band, one from him and one from me. We got it fixed and I wrapped it up for her.

"Do you like it?" I asked quietly. "I found it after it broke, I got it fixed. Alex actually helped me pick out new charms. It's got a small ATL, a huge heart peace sign for him. And well mine is, well, a music note. Which is really original I guess, but it's for how you and me met because of music. And it's pretty much the reason we got so close." I rambled.

"God Kaiden, it's so beautiful. I don't know how to thank you." She gushed pulling me into a hug.

"Well, you could put it on." I laughed.

I clasped the bracelet back onto her wrist as she started to tear up a bit. "Thank you" She whispered, as I gave her another hug before she got up to thank Alex.

"Uhm, Paulie?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah babe?" He asked pulling me onto his lap.

"I have one for you too, but I'd rather give it to you while we're alone."

"Well, should we wait until tonight, or do you want to head over to the other bus now?" He asked smiling at me.

"How about now? Nina, could you continue to call out names while me and Paul go over to the other bus?" I asked getting my jacket back on.

"Sure," she said eyeing us up suspiciously. In the background someone called out 'bom chicka wah wah' we all laughed.

"Not even close boys." I said over my shoulder as Paul pulled on my hand towards the door.


	3. Chapter 3

We walked over to his bus hand and hand, my other hand residing protectively on my let me up the stairs first so I sat down at the makeshift kitchen table as he worked on making sure we were walked over to me, hovering, after he locked the door. " So my love what do you have for me?" he asked leaning down to kiss me."Paul." I breathed heavily as I broke away, "This is really serious.""Oh." He said sitting down, his eyes giving away his panic. Apparently, Kerri's sudden break of their engagement had him on edge. "I'ts nothing too unbearable Poolie." I said smiling, taking his hand in mine."Ok, what's up baby doll?" I smiled."Well, I don't really know how to say this…" "Just say it love." He said assuring me, squeezing my hand."Okay…well, Paul I-I'm pregnant." I said watching him closely to see his initial reaction. "Oh." He said getting up, emotionless. "Alright, didn't expect that." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked towards the door. "I need a walk, I'll be back."And then he was gone, door slamming shut behind was over an hour later and Paul had still not returned from his walk. The first 20 minutes I had spent crying, scared. The remainder of the time, however, I spent worrying. And angry; very angry.I watched the clock, the numbers changing to 2:46, two hours since I had broke the news to my fiancé. "Hey lovebirds, mind if I come in? It's cold out here." Rian asked as he knocked on the door. I couldn't bring myself to speak so I got up and unlocked the door. "Hello Kaidy" he said happily. I tried to smile in returned and failed. " I was just calling Kara to say Merry Christmas and I deci--where's Paul?" He asked abruptly changing the subject. I shrugged my shoulders. He sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around me. "Kai, come on, what happened?""I told him about the baby," I started, resting my hand on my stomach. "and he left. He's been gone for two hours now." I said this emotionless, attempting to avoid a break down."You've been alone for two hours Kaiden? Why didn't you come back over?" I shrugged my shoulders. "And you're pregnant…?" I nodded my head. "Oh Kaiden, congratulations." He pulled my tighter, hugging me. "Little Kaidy, all grown up. Look at you, getting married and having a baby. My god." He chuckled."Well, who knows about that anymore." I said finally starting to cry."He'll come around Kai, it's a lot to process. I'm sure he's just scared." He said trying to sooth me."Well, I'm scared too. It's not like I'm not going through the same fucking thing!" I said, my voice rising with anger. "I mean hell. I have to carry the damn thing. You men all get to cry 'I'm not ready for it' or 'it's a scary thing". Yeah, well no shit." "I know, it's not fair." He said trying to calm me down."I'm scared Ri." I whispered. "We're all here for you Kaiden. I promise.""Thank you Rian." I said hugging him."Anytime, you know I love ya'" He said with a wink."Of course I do Rian, you've been telling me this since I was about 8, when you met Zack.""Well at least something stuck." He said laughing."What'd you mean?" I asked defensively."Obviously the act of protected sex hasn't." He joked, as I laughed along with him."Rian, what the shit are you going on about?" Zack asked confused.


	4. Chapter 4

"Zack, calm down." I said noticing his anger."No Kaiden, not til someone explains what's going on here." he slurred."Not yet Zacky, wait til Paul gets back." I said calmly."Kaiden…" he started."No Zack. You have to wait." I said sternly."Fine." He pouted."To bed?" I asked him, not really caring what his answer would be. "Okay, I guess." He said defeated."Let me go see how Jack's doing first." Rian said getting up. "So we only have to make one trip." he clarified, noticing my confused look."Merry Christmas little sis." Zack teased, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close."I'm not that little." I mumbled."I know Kaiden." He replied sounding almost sad. "Gah, you're getting married Kai.""Nothing gets past you Zack." I joked, we both laughed."Did you call mom today?" he asked, changing the subject."No." I admitted."Someone's in trouble." he sang."I've been busy Zackary." I said defending myself."Hey I helped put up the table." "Oh, aren't you the saint." I joked."Ready?" Rian asked, poking his head in with a very drunk Jack leaning over him."Yep," I said offering my hand to Zack to help him up. "lets get out of here bro." We got both boys back on their feet and walking towards atl's bus."Kaiden!" Jack said happily."Yes Jack-O?" I said trying to support Zack's weight."I'm very drunk." He slurred while laughing. "I can see that." I said laughing along with him."Merry Christmas." He said randomly. "I never got to give you my present. You were too busy with Paul." He said, almost disgusted."I'm sorry Jacky, do you want me to wait til tomorrow to open it?" I asked politely as we reached the bus."No, go ahead and open it. I think you'll really like it." He said smiling. We got both boys in their bunks, where they passed out the moment their heads hit their pillows."Kaiden!" Spencer called back as she helped Alex in the bus; although she looked almost worse that him. Not really sure how productive those two were getting over here."Bryan's looking for you.""Thanks Spence." I said getting out of the bus. "Night guys." I called over my shoulder"Kaiden?" Bryan called sounding desperate and a bit frightened…?"Yeah Bry, I'm coming." I said quickening my pace."They found Paul, they took him to the hospital." Bryan confessed the minute I got in front of him.


	5. Chapter 5

"**They what?" I struggled to get the words out."I don't know but they've been trying to call your phone. Finally they called Martin's, Beef's and my phone. They wouldn't tell me any specifics.""Drive me Bry?" I asked emotionless."Do we need anything?" he asked looking towards their bus."How drunk are you." I asked, although it came out as more of a statement, when I thought back to the festivities that night."Not too bad. I can drive." He shrugged."No. Was there anyone who didn't drink?""Pat, I think. And maybe Kenny and Rian only had like one, ages ago." "Rian. I declared. "I'll go wake him up. Grab Martin and Beef.""Kay." He said thankfully keeping his jokes to himself.I walked quickly to All Time Low's bus. Which of course had to be the last bus."Rian, wake up. Now!" I shook him."What?" he groaned into his pillow, drawing out the 'a'. "Paul got brought to the hospital. I need a sober driver to take me there. Preferably someone who knew the situation." I rushed trying to keep my voice down."I'm up Kai." He said sliding out of his bunk a few seconds later, fully clothed."Uh-how…"I stammered, confused by his speed. "Lets go." "Right behind you Kaidy." He chuckled as he put his hand on the small of my back. The small pressure guiding me towards the got out to the car and I handed Paul's keys to Rian."What hospital Bry?" Rian asked, pulling out his iPhone ready to get the directions."Got it all ready on mine." He said shoving the phone into Rian's waiting hand."Alright, lets get going." Rian said starting the car and putting the heat on."Um, why am I here?" Martin asked still groggy."Because, your best friend's in the hospital and we don't have a clue as to why." I snapped watching ht road."Kaiden…" Rian said, his voice a mix of scolding, understanding and slight amusement. Ri loved Martin and the guys but he could only put up with their drunk bullshit for so long."Oh. …Paul?" he asked closing his eyes."Yes." I simply said, trying not to get too angry."Fuck." He murmured catching on, drawing out the 'u'. "Why aren't we there?""He was on a walk alone when he got hurt." I said emotionlessly."What the fuck, why?" Martin asked."Because he left." I replied turning to glare at him."God, Poolie can be an ass." He decided, closing his eyes again."Shut up." I whispered defending him."Kaidy…" Rian said, being the only one who heard me. He knew, and I knew that he agreed with Martin. And so would everyone else, eventually. Our eyes locked for a moment, his letting me in on how worried he was about me."Drive Dawson." I said as I turned towards the minutes later we were pulling up to the god; most uncomfortable car ride ever. Too may people, too worried, too mad, too sick, too many worried glances from Rian. Too many too's !"Ask for him for me, please?" I asked Rian sheepishly."Course." He said walking up to the desk.I fell behind near the boys, "Please don't pull anything." I pleaded looking at all three of them."Us? Never." Johnny said laughing."Keefe, you'll be first." I warned seriously."Don't add to your worry, we'll behave. We're worried about him too." Bryan said speaking up from behind me, where he was trying to keep Martin standing up."Come on, he's on the second floor." Rian said returning to our huddleThe ride in the elevator, though very short, was again uncomfortable. I was now receiving worried glances from all of the boys that surrounded we reached his room, I was hesitant about going by him. I was worried about what he had decided on his walk."Paul, hey baby, it's me Kaiden." I said as I sat next to his bed. "Come on Paulie, I need you here now, more than ever.""Kaiden," Martin put his hand on my shoulder. "Lets find out what's wrong." "Okay." I sniffled. We walked into the hall where Paul's nurse was waiting with the other three."Well, Paul was brought her when a car ran a red light and hit him. Luckily for him, the car was going pretty slow. It didn't anything really major honestly. He has only one cracked rib, but several are bruised. He hasn't woken up yet though, we've done pretty extensive brain scans and everything seems to be going perfectly. Some people, unfortunately, just take longer to wake than others. Once he does though, call me or any of the other nurses and someone will check him for anything we missed and how's he doing. And then, most likely, you'll be able to bring him home. I'm Emma by the way." She smiled sweetly."Thank you." Rian said politely as I glanced over my should at my fiancé's sleeping form."Paul." I sighed as I sat next to him, leaning my head on his chest. I gripped his hand in mine boys and I stayed there for an hour before I spoke again, "You guys should go back, get some sleep. I'm going to stay here." Bryan started to protest, "I'll call if anything happens. Or I need something. I promise."They finally gave in and left me alone with Paul and the repetitive beep of the machines around us, a constant reminder of where we were.**


	6. Chapter 6

It was about 10 the next morning when I woke up, still in my clothes from last night, lying against the hospital bed, shivering. I sat up to stretch when Paul started to wake. "Paul?" I asked cautiously."Kaiden! I-I don't want it." He said in a rushed panicked voice.I was shocked. No, that was an understatement, there wasn't a word for what I was feeling. I didn't even fight him when his head fell back onto his pillow and closed his eyes. I sat there unaffected, my thoughts rushing through my head. It took almost ten minutes for it to sink in, I started to cry, no sob as I pressed the nurse's call button. "Hello? Did you need something?" A sweet voice asked over an intercom, which I assumed was the nurse. I didn't respond. I couldn't. "Hello?" she asked, her voice anxious.A few moments later there was a quick knock on the door and then in rushed a short, round woman with a sweet, loving face. Her cheeks were pink from her rush to get to the room. "What's going on Mrs. DiGiavonni?" She asked confused at the sight of my crying and, what she assumed, Paul's unchanged body."He woke up" I said sniffling, calming myself down. "for a few moments." I said my voice still shaky. "But I have to go, for a little bit.' I started pulling my coat and purse on."Are you sure…if he woke up for a while, I'm sure he'll be awake soon for good. Hearing your voice will help." She said in a calm voice, full of confusion."I'll send someone down here for him." I said firmly. She didn't say anything for a bit, just checked a few of his monitors.I turned to leave, all of my things together, "Be careful hun, the roads are pretty slick this time of the year.""Thank you." I whispered, heading towards the door.I hit the parking lot in a little less than ten minutes. "Rian, can you come pick me up?" I said, still sniffling, as soon as he picked up."What's wrong Kaidy?" he asked, his voice worried."I'll tell you later." I stated, hoping he wouldn't press the matter. "Fine. Did he wake up? Is he with you?" he asked, his voice lighter."Yes, he did. Then went back down. Will you get one of the other guys, preferably Bryan?" I asked as I sat on a bench near the entrance."Sure Kai." He said quietly. "I'll leave once I get Bryan, and be there in about 15 minutes.""Thank you Rian." I said emotionlessly. "Anytime Kaiden." I hung on the bench the icy weather, watching the snow fall I kept my hands protectively on my stomach. Considering what I was going to do."Kaiden!" I looked up to see Bryan rushing towards me. It wasn't until then that I realized I was shaking and tears were streaming down my face. "What's going on Kaidy? Talk to me." Bryan prodded, pulling off his sweatshirt and wrapping it around me.I shook my head, unable to talk."Bryan, lets get her out of the cold." Rian said tugging on my arm to get me up."Rian, just take me home." I whispered. "Kaiden…what's wrong?" Bryan asked concerned."Nothing Bryan." I insisted. I looked at Rian with pleading eyes."Bryan, why don't you go up and check on Paulie, I'll take Kaiden back to the bus. She probably just needs to warm up and sleep.""Yeah, ok. Kiaden, I'll call you if anything happens." Bryan promised, hugging me tight."Thanks Bry." I stated almost Bryan was inside I stood up and walked towards Rian's SUV. He caught up to me and wrapped his arm around me and steered me in through the parking lot."Heat?" I asked shyly as he turned the key. "Course." He said cranking it up and smiling at me.I smiled back as the warmth hit me, trying to distract myself from all thoughts of Paul."Fuck." I muttered remembering Bryan's promise. I slipped my phone out of my purse and jammed my thumb on the power button. "Kaiden, what happened?" Rian said, watching me intently. I shook my head, "Nothing.""Come on Kai, I'm not that stupid, what happened?"I couldn't respond. I turned to the window, determined to ignore him. "Did he say anything to you Kai?" I started crying at this, not able to rid myself of the memory. "Kaiden…" He said frustrated, grabbing my arm to turn me towards him. "Later Rian. I Promise." I whispered, leaning into his side as he wrapped his arm around me.


	7. Chapter 7

When we got back I walked straight to BLG's bus. I know it's rude to not even thank Rian but I know I wouldn't be able to avoid his questions face to face."Where are you going?" he asked."Just a shower maybe a nap. Think of some other substitutes for alcohol." "Kaiden…" He said worried."Just kidding Rian. I'll be fine, I'll take a shower, eat, maybe nap and go over there and talk. Just like I promised." I said forcing a smile for let me walk off, heading back towards the bus.I entered the code for the door and it opened instantly."Hello?" I heard a groggy, confused voice call."Hey." I said simply ."Kaiden? Is Paul awake?" it was Johnny."No Beef." I said pushing past him to the bunks for my clothes."Kaiden why are you here then?" He asked grabbing my arm. "Did you leave him alone?" "I'm here because I needed a break." I said wrenching my arm out of his grasp. "No, Bryan's with him." I said my voice steady and harsh."Okay." He said not worth fighting about.I got into the bathroom, cranked the shower knob to as hot as I could stand. I turned around to lock the door, when all the memories of Paul came flooding back to me,_"Kaiden, this is Martin, Johnny, Bryan and Paul. They're in the band Boys Like Girls. They're going to be playing on Warped with us." Zack said, introducing me to the guys they had recently befriended. We were standing outside two large buses, on our way to the first Warped show, which I would be attending this year. Yay, merch girl! No, not really. I didn't even want to be here, Zack and my relationship had been falling apart very quickly since the band had gotten bigger. And this was his idea of saving it. I thought the only affect that could possibly happen would be a wasted summer. "Nice to meet you Kaiden." Paul said, snapping me out of my own thoughts. I starred at him stupidly for a moment, he was tall, much taller than me. His brown hair was long, almost covering his dark brown eyes, that held so much warmth and love. I knew those were the kind of eyes I could drown in. Maybe it wont be so bad…"And you." I said simply smiling at him._****_"Kaiden, hey!" Paul said catching up to me. I was walking around aimlessly before I had to get back out and cover my shift at the merch stand. "Oh, hey." I said, blushing."How are you?" He said, after a few moments of not-quite-so-uncomfortable silence walking. I chuckled, "I'm good, just waiting to get back out there to sell some t-shirts. Aren't I a lucky girl?" He laughed at my sarcasm."You don't want to be here?" He asked confused."Well, yes and no. I mean I've grown up with these boys, Jack was my best friend ever, Alex and Rain were like the brothers I never had and Zack, well he's my slightly older brother. We came from, well not the worse of families but we had our problems, and we were close. But then the record deal came, and then the CD and then the concerts and we all just kind of fell apart. They drifted and left me sitting in Baltimore; alone. My whole family just ripped from me." I looked up at him, not believing that he was still actually paying attention to me. "Well anyways, tour doesn't really fly with me. I see it as a negative, although I know I shouldn't.""That makes sense to me Kai." He said looking into my eyes, sincerely. "And I'll try to prove to you, over these few months of Warped, that touring can be a very good thing." I blushed. "Oh, well thanks. Uhm, I have to get back to the stand…" "Oh, well can we meet up later?" He asked, …nervously?"Sure." I said smiling."Great, I'll text you." And with that he leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Until later Kaidy."_****_"Kaiden, I need to tell you something." He whispered as we laid in his bunk. We had been going out for almost seven months. "What is it Paulie?" I asked turning over to look up at him as he held me close to his body."I'm really glad you came on tour with us," He said smiling.I chuckled, "That's random, but I am too. I don't know what I'd do with you gone for so long." He laughed with me."It's also made me realize something, Kaiden, I love you." I was so stunned by what he said it took me a full minute to recover. Over it his face changed from ecstatic to worry to embarrassment. "Oh Paul, I love you too!" and with that he pushed his lips against mine and we kissed until we had to come up for air._****_"Kaiden." It was Paul, he walked up and wrapped his arms around me. We were at his house almost a year later watching the Patriots play. Everyone was here, Martin and Anna, Beef, Bryan and Isabella, Brent, and even Zack and Jack. I was in the kitchen trying to get snacks and drinks out for everyone. I laughed, "Hello Poolie.""I was thinking--" I cut him off."So that's what that smell is. God I thought I burnt something." I laughed at my stupid joke."Haha Kaiden. Anyways, you spend an awful lot of time over here and with school renting an apartment you don't stay in is kind of a waste of money that could be going to a better cause, I was kind of thinking you could, I don't know…move in here?" "Aw, Paulie, of course I want to." I said, overly happy."Oh, thank god." I laughed at him as I gave him a confused look. "I was afraid you'd say no, or it's too early.""Oh no Paul, I love you. I want to spend as much time with you as I can." He smiled and leaned down to kiss my lips. _


	8. Chapter 8

At some point during memory lane my legs had given out. I was now sitting on the floor propped up against the door, my legs pulled tightly to my chest. My sobs were uncontrollable. I hoped the water would be enough to muffle the sounds of all my bottled up emotions flooding out.

"Kaiden?" A voice called followed by a soft knock. It was Alex. "Can I come in?"

"Not now Alex" I attempted to control my voice as I responded.

Standing up, I move around the small room trying to make my tears as unnoticeable as I can.

"Kaiden, I think now's a perfect time." He said firmly.

"Alex…" I said still moving, drenching my hair in the colder water.

"Kaiden, come on, we all love you and we're worried about you. So open up or I'm breaking in. And no way are you coming to use our bathroom when your door doesn't wor--" I cut him off, knowing he'd make good on his threat, I opened the door to let him in. He was leaning against it, as I pulled it towards me he fell in, falling on his back in stunned silence his eyes bulging.

I couldn't help laughing at him. From all the tension of the few days. I was doubled over laughing, my eyes wet with tears.

"Totally my plan all along." he said, pretending to play it cool.

"Sure you did." I said, still smiling.

"It got you to smile though." He said smiling himself. "It's been too long since I've seen it."

"Alex, it was just last night, at Christmas. The rest of the time we were all sleeping. You wouldn't have seen it regardless." I pointed out.

"I know, but even before that. You were acting…different. A lot less bubbly Kaiden." I smiled at him.

"I'm sorry." I said lightly, turning back into the bathroom and sitting on the floor against the wall.

"Don't apologize Kaidy." He said shutting and locking the door. "We've all just been worried. I mean between Paul in the hospital, which I am personally confused as to why you weren't with each other, we all know and see it on your face that you're worried, you've been hanging around with Jack and Spencer lately, I think they're in withdrawal," We both laughed at as he sat down next to me, shower still on in the background. "and how Rian knows more than all of us but wont say anything, and Zack knows there's something but has no clue as to what and to top it all off, you're new found sobriety." He laughed at his own joke.

"Wow," I said, not knowing what else to say. "way to get to the point."

"I'm sorry. It's just, I'm worried, and I've been holding it all in. Talk to me Kaiden, please?"

"Alex, I can't." He started to stay something but I cut him off. "Not yet at least, I have to talk to Paul first. I'm sorry."

"Kaiden--" He was cut off by a banging at the door.

"Kaidy open up!" Martin called on the other side of the door, very loudly.

"What'd you need Martin?" Alex called, wrapping his arm around me protectively.

"Is Kaiden in there?" He asked, his voice still harsh and accusing.

"Yep." He said looking down at me.

"Why are you with her?" He asked, now confused.

"I wanted to talk to her." He said easily.

"Oh. Kaiden why's your phone off?" He said still loud and angry.

"I didn't know it was…it must have died." I lied. "I was in the shower until Alex rudely interrupted." I lied again, as I dug around my pile of clothes for my phone.

"Are you…why's the shower still on then?" He asked his voice more confused than anything.

"Just forgot to turn it off when I rushed to dry off and get dressed to let Alex in." I said opening the door to prove what I had said.

"Oh, hey." He said surprised. "Well, Bryan has been trying to get a hold of you."

"Do you know why…?" I asked, nervous.

"Nope, not yet. I can talk to him for you though…but it's probably about Paul." He said smiling at me.

"Oh, well then I'll call him. No worries." I turned around to gather my stuff as he left.

"Are you going to be ok?" Alex asked worried.

"Yep, thanks for coming over Lex." I said desperately trying to hold onto my good mood. I knew I had to, it would make things easier for everyone else. And the stress could not be good for the baby.

"Call if you need me, okay?" Alex asked seriously.

"I promise Alex." I said smiling as he pulled me in for a hug.

"Or Spencer, you know she loves you too. By the way, I never got to thank you for the bracelet idea or any of it really. She loved it; it meant so much to her." He said, his whole face lighting up with the thoughts of Spencer.

"Anytime Alex, you know I love you. And her of course. Besides, it's not like you didn't help." we laughed. "Alex, how'd you know I was in such a terrible mood? It really started when Paul left, and since then you really haven't seen me. ..until now I guess." I rambled, watching the ground.

"Word gets around quick here Kai. Specially when it's you. Everyone loves you. You're like our little sister, you are Zack's, you're Jack and Spencer's best friend. And let me tell you, those two can gossip." We both laughed.

"I'm sorry I've been so blah." I said sincerely.

"It's ok, everybody has those days." He said, making fun of Hannah Montana.

I laughed, "Thanks again Alex, I really needed this. But, I do have to cut things short, I kind of need to call Bryan back and I promised I'd talk to Rian. And I should probably go talk to the other guys, in my zombie state I've probably missed a loads!" I said finding it easier to stay on the happier side of things.

I left without another word after he said goodbye, heading towards All Time Low's bus.


	9. Chapter 9

I climbed the steps and walked onto the bus after knocking once. Zack, Jack and Spencer all sat in the living room watching some random movie.

'Kaiden!' 'Kaidence!' and 'Kaidy' were all said at the same time as they noticed my presence.

I jumped at the sudden noise, then chuckled, "Hey guys, what's going on?"

"Just watching Dirty Dancing." Spencer said smiling, she loved Patrick Swazye.

"Spencer made us, she's honoring his death." Jack said blankly.

"Oh that's sad." I said simply. "…but good." I added watching the screen.

"Good? WTF Kaidy?" Spencer asked looking up at me, confused and angry.

"Well I just think that he's suffered for so long, and now he's no longer, I think it's a good thing." I shrugged.

"I guess." She said smiling up at me, then turning her attention back to the screen.

"Kaiden, come sit down." Zack said looking up at me and patting a spot next to him on the floor.

Note to Self: _Hang out with them more! I miss them so much._

"I actually need to find Rian. He needed to talk…" I said hoping it wouldn't sound too much like I was ditching them. Jack and Spencer both looked up and said good-bye, with smiles thank goodness.

"Oh, ok." Zack said confused. "Bunk room." He looked up at me, holding my attention with his hazel eyes seeing right through my faint happiness. His look was knowing, and he expected, no demanded answers. But they'd have to wait. He could use a bit of patience. I smiled at him as I inched towards the bunk room. He returned it with a questioning look. 'Later' I mouthed. He nodded and I turned to leave.

"Kara, I don't know." He said firmly. "I don't think so." His voice was so angry, it shocked me. "Please, just think about it."

"Rian?" I called moving towards his bunk.

"Fuck, I gotta go. I love you babe." He said, with a smile on his face.

I poked my head into his bunk once I was sure he was off the phone, "Did I interrupt?"

"Technically, but I'd rather talk to you right now." I gave him a confused look. "She's being…difficult right now." He explained, moving closer to the wall on the other side of the bunk to make room for me to lay down next to him.

"And I'm not…?" I asked sarcastically.

"You're having a rough time Kaidy." He said, slipping his arm around me and pulling me close.

[I]This is nice. Like before I met Paul… Rian was my guy, I depended on him. He was the level headed one, a great listener, funny, sweet, and so cute. I was in love with him. …Or at least I thought I was. But then I met Paul and he met Kara. Our cuddling and talking and everything else just kind of died out…[/u]

"I understand." He said to fill the silence that my thinking had sent us into.

"Thanks Rian. What's going on with Kara?" I asked, avoiding.

"Just problems with school. Nothing fun to talk about." He smiled at me as I shifted to lay my head on his chest. "Now, did you come here to tell me what's going on?"

"I…yeah, I guess I did." I whispered into the darkness.

"Alright, well go on then Kai." I hesitated at first, but his soothing, caring voice eventually forced me to tell the entire tale of what had happened at the hospital. "Oh Kaiden, I'm sorry." He said once I was finished, pulling me even closer to him. "It's going to be ok, I'm sure he wasn't serious. He was on a lot of medicine for the pain."

"How do you know for sure though? What if the medicine just gave him the courage to say what he really thought." I asked, telling him the paranoid thoughts that I'd been thinking about all day.

"Well, he loves you. And he wants to be with you, and I'm sure he wont let a baby, especially not his own, get in the way of that. I'm sure he'll be happy, you just have to give him time to process it."

"I guess you're right…" I said as I thought of this new perspective. "Thank you Rian."

"You always say that like it's such a surprise." He commented.

"Oh, I do…?" I said thinking back.

"Yes, you do." He said chuckling.

"Oh, whoops. I'm sorry."

"It's aright Kai. Go call Bryan, I'm sure you have at least 50 new voicemails."

I laughed, "Okay Rain," I pulled out my phone and turned it on "I'll let you go back to Kara. I'm sure she could use some of your wisdom." I chuckled.

"You don't have to go… Stay, you might need to talk later." He said quickly.

"Alright," I said laying back down next to him. "Call or voicemail first?"

"Voicemail. Speaker?" He asked, as it began to ring.

I turned it on speaker just as the recording was announcing 3 new voicemails.

"Not bad." I whispered.

"First new message."

"Hey Kaiden, it's Bryan…umm, call me back." Bryan said nervously.

I hit the delete key.

"Next new voicemail."

"Kaiden? It's, umm, me…Paul? Where are you? I miss you. We really need to talk when you get here. …Or I get there." Paul said, anxiously.

"Oh," I said feeling bad now for ignoring my phone.

"Don't feel bad Kai." Rian said, responding to my thoughts. "You didn't know. You couldn't have known. Besides, it couldn't have been too long, we just got home a little over an hour ago."

I smiled at him and let myself calm down.

"I guess I should get going…" I said nervously.

"Don't you want to listen to the last message?"

"I guess I should do that too." I laughed nervously.

I saved the last one and let the machine play the last message.

"Oh, and Kaidy, I love you." It was Paul again.

"Okay, I really think I should go now." I said, getting out; again.

"Do you want to dive or do you want a ride?" Rian asked, following me out.

"Not focused enough to drive." I said standing up. "But I'll go get a ride from Martin or Beef. They should see Paul too."

"Alright, fine, just ditch me." He teased.

"Only because you've done so much. You should take a break."

"Fine. I should call Kara back anyways." he pulled me in for a hug.

"I'll call you with details." I said after we pulled apart.

"Alright, good." He said smiling, leaning back down into his bed.


	10. Chapter 10

I left the room, saying goodbye to everyone I passed.  
Martin Johnson! I yelled, actually happy now that I knew Paul was ok. Maybe Rian was right, maybe it was just the drugs. I can trust Paul? Of course, I am getting married to him for a reason. I shoved out all the rest of those thoughts.  
Kaiden Hope! He called back.  
I laughed and ran up to him. Hey, we should go visit Poolie. I said smiling and out of breath.  
Alright. That bitch better be awake though. He said throwing his arm around me and laughing with me.  
Lets go see. I said smiling.  
We arrived about half an hour later.  
Paul? I called nervously into his room, then walked in.  
Kaiden?! He asked back excitedly. Yeah? I said smiling, shyly. I walked over to him as fast as I could. I m so sorry. He gushed as he pulled me close to him. I slapped him lightly. Don t you ever do that to me again. I said firmly.  
I know, I wont. I promise. he said sincerely, starring deep into my eyes.  
We need to talk? I asked him quietly.  
Oh yeah. He said quietly to me. Hey you guys, do you think you could give us a minute alone? Sure Bryan said, getting up and helping the other boys out the door.  
I m really sorry Kaiden, I don t know why I reacted that way He reached for my hand but I pulled it away. It might be childish, but I was upset about this, and he better know it.  
You don t want it. I asked, more as a statement.  
To be quiet honest, yes and no. Well why not? I asked, calming down a bit.  
Well, I don t know if I m ready, I m scared and well it s a lot. Especially since we just got engaged. Things are going to see so rushed He rambled.  
You re scared Paul? You re not ready? How do you think I [I]feel[/u]?! I have to carry and grow the thing. I said, my voice raising as I talked.  
I know Kaiden, I know I was selfish. He said, hanging his head. I m so sorry I put you through this. I love you Kaiden. And, even though I m scared out of my mind, I love the baby too. I looked up at him and smiled, I love you too Paul. I let him pull me close now, he kissed the top of my head. I m still mad at you. A little bit. He chuckled, I don t blame you. We stayed there, together, for about five quiet minutes.  
How are we going to tell everybody ? I asked nervously.  
We ll figure it out baby. He said kissing me once again. Will you bring the guys in again, I m sure they re about done waiting. I laughed, Of course, I ll go get the nurse too. Thank you love. He said smiling up at me again. 


End file.
